Finding your inner-warrior ~ facing conflict in the workplace

Many of us are unprepared for managing conflict. It can hurt us personally and diminish our effectiveness at work. It takes courage to handle difficult scenarios.

But it’s not simply about having the courage to speak up or face opposition. Even more challenging is the confrontation it brings with our own selves; we have to confront our own weaknesses as we do so.

This is the true art of the warrior: know know yourself as well as you know the enemy and to have internal strength, not just external power.

Last year, Karen* came to see me because she was suffering anxiety attacks. She was exhausted from dealing with the treatment she was receiving from her new manager at work. This manager’s brief was to cull as many positions as possible, while keeping the organisation running. The manger treated people rudely and coerced them into working long hours under the threat of retrenchment.

I worked with Karen through the Soul Coaching® as she developed the courage to insist on being treated decently. She managed to find a dignity and self-respect, even in the face of outright bullying, as well as earn the respect and admiration of her co-workers. They watched her grow in spiritual stature as she dealt with this manager who, despite having organisational clout, seemed rather small and tawdry in comparison.

Regardless of how well we manage ourselves, other people can still become aggressive or even abusive towards us at times. After an angry encounter of any kind of conflict, it’s important to have some sort of debriefing so we can let go of any debilitating energy we may be holding on to.

Often in an angry encounter, it’s not appropriate to say what we really feel. This might be because we’re talking to a superior or because we’re so angry it would actually be abusive to speak it. Nevertheless, the energy is there and it needs a safe outlet. Depending on what suits you, try the following options to clear the anger from your system. You may need more than one go if it was a particularly difficult encounter:

  1. Write an uncensored letter to the person (that you don’t send!). It takes the form of, “What I really wanted to say to you was … ” Be as rude and offensive as you want. Really go for it. Write until it’s all out. Keep the letter and re-read it a few times until its sting is gone, then destroy it. Burning it can be particularly satisfying.
  2. Get the energy of the anger out be some physical exertion. I know people who go for mammoth jogs, others who use a punching bag and some who hit mattresses and cusions. Make sure it feels physically satisfying. This is not about violence; it’s about the safe expression of strong emotion. It has to have an outlet. It’s best to do it in a way that’s safe for yourself and others.
  3. Use your voice to shout or scream your frustration. This can be a challenge in an urban environment where walls are close together and not particularly soundproof, so try doing it in your car on the freeway. There, no one can hear you scream!

If you’re feeling disheartened, remember we all go through times when our goals seem too difficult or overwhelming. This is when we need to take a break.

Refresh yourself … pace yourself. Inspire yourself by remembering mentors or role models who have gone before. Then go back to the bigger picture. Remind ourself why you’re doing it in the first place.

It takes courage to stay strong. It takes commitment, endurance and robustness to stay working for a difficult cause. yet your own self benefits as you develop such capacities within. You can enjoy cultivating the dignity of your warrior self.

Finally you need perspective. You will lose many battles, but there are lots of battles and lots of fronts to work on. The Eastern teaching of the Tao is relevant here. The Tao  is like water. Water is strong enough to wear away rocks but doesn’t do it by aggressive encounter. It goes under, around and over. Wearing down resistance, making new paths, it gets to the ocean in the end.

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* names have been changed
Michelle Chant sees clients from her healing studio in Canberra, Australia or works with clients via Skype

What will it take to de-clutter your life?

Just for a moment, take a look around your space.

Do you see piles of newspapers, magazines, files or even bills crying out for your attention?

Are you thoughts full of mental clutter, a running dialogue of things to do?

Rather than start, do you just leave it for another day, another time?

The longer you leave it, the more the piles amass and then the task becomes all too big and arduous – until something happens in your life that triggers a change. De-cluttering your life is one of the most positive and affirming things you can do, so why not do it now?

Sometimes it takes an event to trigger a change. some events can be stressful, even traumatic, such as a death in the family. Other catalysts for change include starting your own business, having a baby, downsizing, moving, or children moving away from home. At other times it gets to the point where you just have to do something about it.

A few years ago, Rachel* underwent a stressful year – her long term relationship ended. Initially Rachel decided to chose to stay in the four bedroom home her and her partner had purchased together. Her main focus was to create an environment of stability for her 10-year old daughter.

Three years later, Rachel came went through the Soul Coaching® program. She said that life had become harder, she had a sense of darkness and heaviness around her. She felt as though something was weighing her down.

Now, you’ll find clutter clearing intrinsically woven into the fabric of the  Soul Coaching® program. We find that by removing the physical clutter from lives, it aids in lessening the mental and emotional clutter in our lives.

Rachel took to this aspect of Soul Coaching® with gusto, and as she began to shift the physical clutter in her life, her internal clutter began to shift as well.

Soul Coaching®  helped Rachel realise she was struggling with the up-keep of such a huge home, so the working single mum decided to downsize.

The benefit was that downsizing would enable her to buy a smaller home, free of a mortgage. This even would signal a new direction for Rachel. The only problem was how to condense the possessions she’d accumulated over a lifetime to fit into a brand-new contemporary two-bedroom apartment.

“Initially, it was really hard, because I’m so sentimental,” recalls Rebecca. “There were so many memories and issues surrounding these things. Also, I couldn’t stop thinking aout all the things people had given to me. The choice was difficult. Which one do I take? Which one do I leave behind? When I was going through this process, I realised I had to make a decision and just do it.

“What helped me get through was coming to the decision that if I had to give thins away, I would give them to people who really needed them. Even though I had this sentimental attachment to things, I do believe in recycling.”

Letting go of possession collected over many years can be difficult, so it’s important to acknowledge a sense of loss when you start to let go. Rachel believed her tendency to hoard things came from being the daughter of parents who had been through the depression.

“My parents never threw anything out,” says Rachel. “They’d say, ‘You might need it or you might be able to use this for something else later.’ But once I started getting ri of the first few items, even though it was really slow and hard and emotional, towards the end it was like, gone!

“Being able to break away from these entrenched values was very liberating.”

After selling her old home and moving into her new space, Rachel felt as though she’d created a new chapter in her life – more time than ever to spend with her daughter and friends.

“When I think back to my old home, the felling I get is that life was harder. I get a sense of darkness and heaviness, as the house needed so much work. I’d . I’d look at my surroundings and my thoughts were constantly filled with ‘things need to be done’.

“Now, I’ve done a complete turnaround. I feel as though I’ve cleansed my mind and body. It was lovely to have a sense of starting afresh: it was like starting out on an adventure. I forced myself to change. By choosing a smaller apartment, I could never, ever go back to clutter. I’ve learnt that I live perfectly wellwith a few things, so why do I need all these other things? All my friends can’t believe I’m now a minimalist.”

Rachel found that once she was able to let go of the things she’d held onto for so long, a new way of life opened up: a simpler, but far more fulfilling life. She began to think lessabout the things that had to be done and more about spending the time to enjoy her new life.

Are there areas in your life worth freeing up? You may find that once you free up space in your life, this may lead to areas you’ve been waiting to explore. Perhaps it could mean taking the trip of a lifetime, writing a new book, starting a new career, or even embarking on a new relationship.

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* Names have been changed

Michelle Chant sees clients from her healing studio in Canberra, Australia or works with clients via Skype

Chakradance … My Journey ~ by guest blogger Jennine Hubber

Jennine Hubber of Avalon Essences Wellness

Knowing my love of movement and passion of dance Michelle invited me to her Chakradance workshop. Her invitation was quite intriguing …

“Come JJ we are in a darkened room, lit only by candle-light, we move with our eyes closed, and our attention turned inwards, Chakradance is about making a connection with our inner world – the world of our imagination, feelings, intuition and senses”.

WOW OK when and where I will be there. … I didn’t think it about for a little while and then Michelle reminded me the week of the first workshop so my curiosity started to build, although I love to dance I was a little nervous and quite excited as to what the experience might bring.

It was Magikal –

Truly Mystical and Magikal !!

Yes it was a ‘moving’ experience BUT it also became MY time to completely let go of all my fears and be free.

For me each week was very different and over the weeks I felt like I started to grow from the deep tribal feeling of the Base Chakra dance right through to the Spiritual almost trance like state of the Crown Chakra.  It became a journey, My Journey, I felt like I had wings and that a huge weight had been lifted.

Michelle is very supportive and extremely caring; her passion for this system beams from her and with her energy and Love I am sure you will also find Chakradance a most rewarding journey.

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About Jennine

Jennine is a modern day alchemist. She is the creatrix of Avalon Essences, a range of hand-blended aromatherapy skin care products and perfumes. All of her products are derived from plants, antioxidants, herbs, fragranced oils and essential oils for their therapeutic values; and do not contain harmful ingredients, animal derivatives, harsh detergents or petroleum by-products.

Her own healing journey has also inspired Jennine to help others. Now an UltraLite detox and weight loss practitioner, Jennine works with her clients to assist them in their journey to become healthy.

This modern-day goddess really walks her talk.

Visit Jennine’s websites: