Many of us are unprepared for managing conflict. It can hurt us personally and diminish our effectiveness at work. It takes courage to handle difficult scenarios.

But it’s not simply about having the courage to speak up or face opposition. Even more challenging is the confrontation it brings with our own selves; we have to confront our own weaknesses as we do so.

This is the true art of the warrior: know know yourself as well as you know the enemy and to have internal strength, not just external power.

Last year, Karen* came to see me because she was suffering anxiety attacks. She was exhausted from dealing with the treatment she was receiving from her new manager at work. This manager’s brief was to cull as many positions as possible, while keeping the organisation running. The manger treated people rudely and coerced them into working long hours under the threat of retrenchment.

I worked with Karen through the Soul Coaching® as she developed the courage to insist on being treated decently. She managed to find a dignity and self-respect, even in the face of outright bullying, as well as earn the respect and admiration of her co-workers. They watched her grow in spiritual stature as she dealt with this manager who, despite having organisational clout, seemed rather small and tawdry in comparison.

Regardless of how well we manage ourselves, other people can still become aggressive or even abusive towards us at times. After an angry encounter of any kind of conflict, it’s important to have some sort of debriefing so we can let go of any debilitating energy we may be holding on to.

Often in an angry encounter, it’s not appropriate to say what we really feel. This might be because we’re talking to a superior or because we’re so angry it would actually be abusive to speak it. Nevertheless, the energy is there and it needs a safe outlet. Depending on what suits you, try the following options to clear the anger from your system. You may need more than one go if it was a particularly difficult encounter:

1. Write an uncensored letter to the person (that you don’t send!). It takes the form of, “What I really wanted to say to you was … ” Be as rude and offensive as you want. Really go for it. Write until it’s all out. Keep the letter and re-read it a few times until its sting is gone, then destroy it. Burning it can be particularly satisfying.
2. Get the energy of the anger out be some physical exertion. I know people who go for mammoth jogs, others who use a punching bag and some who hit mattresses and cusions. Make sure it feels physically satisfying. This is not about violence; it’s about the safe expression of strong emotion. It has to have an outlet. It’s best to do it in a way that’s safe for yourself and others.
3. Use your voice to shout or scream your frustration. This can be a challenge in an urban environment where walls are close together and not particularly soundproof, so try doing it in your car on the freeway. There, no one can hear you scream!

If you’re feeling disheartened, remember we all go through times when our goals seem too difficult or overwhelming. This is when we need to take a break.

Refresh yourself … pace yourself. Inspire yourself by remembering mentors or role models who have gone before. Then go back to the bigger picture. Remind ourself why you’re doing it in the first place.

It takes courage to stay strong. It takes commitment, endurance and robustness to stay working for a difficult cause. yet your own self benefits as you develop such capacities within. You can enjoy cultivating the dignity of your warrior self.

Finally you need perspective. You will lose many battles, but there are lots of battles and lots of fronts to work on. The Eastern teaching of the Tao is relevant here. The Tao  is like water. Water is strong enough to wear away rocks but doesn’t do it by aggressive encounter. It goes under, around and over. Wearing down resistance, making new paths, it gets to the ocean in the end.

~~~~~

* names have been changed
Michelle Chant sees clients from her healing studio in Canberra, Australia or works with clients via Skype

Do you see piles of newspapers, magazines, files or even bills crying out for your attention?

Are you thoughts full of mental clutter, a running dialogue of things to do?

Rather than start, do you just leave it for another day, another time?

The longer you leave it, the more the piles amass and then the task becomes all too big and arduous – until something happens in your life that triggers a change. De-cluttering your life is one of the most positive and affirming things you can do, so why not do it now?

Sometimes it takes an event to trigger a change. some events can be stressful, even traumatic, such as a death in the family. Other catalysts for change include starting your own business, having a baby, downsizing, moving, or children moving away from home. At other times it gets to the point where you just have to do something about it.

A few years ago, Rachel* underwent a stressful year – her long term relationship ended. Initially Rachel decided to chose to stay in the four bedroom home her and her partner had purchased together. Her main focus was to create an environment of stability for her 10-year old daughter.

Three years later, Rachel came went through the Soul Coaching® program. She said that life had become harder, she had a sense of darkness and heaviness around her. She felt as though something was weighing her down.

Now, you’ll find clutter clearing intrinsically woven into the fabric of the  Soul Coaching® program. We find that by removing the physical clutter from lives, it aids in lessening the mental and emotional clutter in our lives.

Rachel took to this aspect of Soul Coaching® with gusto, and as she began to shift the physical clutter in her life, her internal clutter began to shift as well.

Soul Coaching®  helped Rachel realise she was struggling with the up-keep of such a huge home, so the working single mum decided to downsize.

The benefit was that downsizing would enable her to buy a smaller home, free of a mortgage. This even would signal a new direction for Rachel. The only problem was how to condense the possessions she’d accumulated over a lifetime to fit into a brand-new contemporary two-bedroom apartment.

“Initially, it was really hard, because I’m so sentimental,” recalls Rebecca. “There were so many memories and issues surrounding these things. Also, I couldn’t stop thinking aout all the things people had given to me. The choice was difficult. Which one do I take? Which one do I leave behind? When I was going through this process, I realised I had to make a decision and just do it.

“What helped me get through was coming to the decision that if I had to give thins away, I would give them to people who really needed them. Even though I had this sentimental attachment to things, I do believe in recycling.”

Letting go of possession collected over many years can be difficult, so it’s important to acknowledge a sense of loss when you start to let go. Rachel believed her tendency to hoard things came from being the daughter of parents who had been through the depression.

“My parents never threw anything out,” says Rachel. “They’d say, ‘You might need it or you might be able to use this for something else later.’ But once I started getting ri of the first few items, even though it was really slow and hard and emotional, towards the end it was like, gone!

“Being able to break away from these entrenched values was very liberating.”

After selling her old home and moving into her new space, Rachel felt as though she’d created a new chapter in her life – more time than ever to spend with her daughter and friends.

“When I think back to my old home, the felling I get is that life was harder. I get a sense of darkness and heaviness, as the house needed so much work. I’d . I’d look at my surroundings and my thoughts were constantly filled with ‘things need to be done’.

“Now, I’ve done a complete turnaround. I feel as though I’ve cleansed my mind and body. It was lovely to have a sense of starting afresh: it was like starting out on an adventure. I forced myself to change. By choosing a smaller apartment, I could never, ever go back to clutter. I’ve learnt that I live perfectly wellwith a few things, so why do I need all these other things? All my friends can’t believe I’m now a minimalist.”

Rachel found that once she was able to let go of the things she’d held onto for so long, a new way of life opened up: a simpler, but far more fulfilling life. She began to think lessabout the things that had to be done and more about spending the time to enjoy her new life.

Are there areas in your life worth freeing up? You may find that once you free up space in your life, this may lead to areas you’ve been waiting to explore. Perhaps it could mean taking the trip of a lifetime, writing a new book, starting a new career, or even embarking on a new relationship.

~~~~~

* Names have been changed

Michelle Chant sees clients from her healing studio in Canberra, Australia or works with clients via Skype

Magnifiscense Romance Pack ~ $29.95 ~ Pack contains Romance Mist, Romance Rose Petal Soap 3 Pack & Red Rose Petals

The lovely Ms. Jennine of Avalon Essences and I will be sharing a stall at the Burlesque Bazaar this Sunday at the Irish Club in Weston from 11am.

Come along to 5 hours of burlesque themed market stalls, performances, hour raffles, hair, pin-up photo booth, and make-up demonstrations.  Entry is $5 which gives you 5 Kitka Dollars to redeem at any stall when you spend over $20 in one transaction.

I’ll be showcasing the new range of Magnifiscense Mists, and something a little special for Valentines Day.

Romance is given a head start when you and your loved one are in the moment together leaving the world behind. This luscious blend is the perfect recipe for love and passion. Scatter the rose petals on your bed, generously mist the room and indulge yourselves in a rose petal bath and allow romance to lead the way.

So pop by and say hello to us.

Jennine Hubber of Avalon Essences Wellness

Knowing my love of movement and passion of dance Michelle invited me to her Chakradance workshop. Her invitation was quite intriguing …

“Come JJ we are in a darkened room, lit only by candle-light, we move with our eyes closed, and our attention turned inwards, Chakradance is about making a connection with our inner world – the world of our imagination, feelings, intuition and senses”.

WOW OK when and where I will be there. … I didn’t think it about for a little while and then Michelle reminded me the week of the first workshop so my curiosity started to build, although I love to dance I was a little nervous and quite excited as to what the experience might bring.

It was Magikal –

Truly Mystical and Magikal !!

Yes it was a ‘moving’ experience BUT it also became MY time to completely let go of all my fears and be free.

For me each week was very different and over the weeks I felt like I started to grow from the deep tribal feeling of the Base Chakra dance right through to the Spiritual almost trance like state of the Crown Chakra.  It became a journey, My Journey, I felt like I had wings and that a huge weight had been lifted.

Michelle is very supportive and extremely caring; her passion for this system beams from her and with her energy and Love I am sure you will also find Chakradance a most rewarding journey.

~~~~~~~~~

About Jennine

Jennine is a modern day alchemist. She is the creatrix of Avalon Essences, a range of hand-blended aromatherapy skin care products and perfumes. All of her products are derived from plants, antioxidants, herbs, fragranced oils and essential oils for their therapeutic values; and do not contain harmful ingredients, animal derivatives, harsh detergents or petroleum by-products.

Her own healing journey has also inspired Jennine to help others. Now an UltraLite detox and weight loss practitioner, Jennine works with her clients to assist them in their journey to become healthy.

This modern-day goddess really walks her talk.

Visit Jennine’s websites:

• Avalon Essences Wellness
• Avalon Essences

Imagine the power of intuitively knowing you have chosen the right time to buy a new home, or knowing that you need to pick up the phone and call someone you love.

Your intuition is a powerful force, playing an important role in the decisions you make, whether you are conscious of them or not. Whether it’s making new friends, playing sport, understanding your work colleagues, taking care of your children or even driving your car, your intuition can offer profound guidance.

Take these simple steps to tap into your intuition:

Find a place of inner serenity

Practice learning how to still your mind. Remove distractions. Play calming music to lift your spirits. Find a place of inner calm. Learn to let go of your need to think logically and to analyse all situations and events.

Learn to breath deeply

Young children instinctively know how to breathe deeply from their diaphragm. But, as we get older, many people breathe from the chest and their breathing becomes shallow and very rapid. Breathing deeply and exhaling slowly is relaxing and calming. It soothes he psyche.

Trust in yourself

Your inner ruth will come to the fore when you need it most. Be open to the power of the universe and the strength of your intuitive foice. You may feel your intuition as a recurring thought, a picture that flashes before your eyes, a dream, or an innate sense of knowing.

Be creative

Learn to get into your intuitive zone by exploring your creativity. Whether you enjoy singing, dancing, sketching or painting, find your passion. Do what you enjoy and get into that timeless space of inner focus where your creative juices and intuition can flow freely.

Discover your truth

Be aware of each of your senses. Tune into your moods. Practise using your intuition each and every day. Write down your first thoughts on waking. Ask a question of your inner self and wait for the answer to come to you.

As you experience intuitive moments, jot them down in a journal. Note the times you felt your intuition reaching out to you, what the event was, how you acted on it, how it felt and the outcome. Learn to recognise when it happens so you can then be aware of it and start to look out for it.

Your journal is also an integral tool in your dreaming toolkit. It is a record of your inner journeys and your quest for self-understanding. Since most of us forget our dreams within ten minutes of awakening, it can be a daunting task to try and reconstruct your dreams later in the day without having recorded your dreams in a journal.

Recording our feelings, experiences and dreams can help to improve the power of our inner-guidance system. It teaches us to trust our intuition, and to listen to our inner wise self.

To begin a journal

1. At the beginning of each journal, I like to paint a picture, with words and with images, of just where I am in life: Where I’m living, what I’m reading, things I’m learning, simplicities my heart is taking joy in. With scraps, quotes, and meaningful images that represent my season of life, I create a meaningful blend of these things on the first pages of my journal.
2. A piece of writing that has held meaningful significance me over the last few months will typically take prominence in the collage … quotes from Rumi are often a favourite of mine.
3. I’ll finish it off with the start and end journal entry dates, signifying when the journal was used.

It is difficult indeed to carve out time for creativity. But it is never in vain. The joy that comes in looking back upon these pages, the meaning that forms from simply visualising these memories, and the gift of gaining valuable insights from my Soul and my guides.

I’d love you to share your journalling tips ….

My good friend Jennine of Avalon Essences Wellness ~ an amazing and talented woman ~ has been making some changes in her life recently. What can I say, she glows. She radiates vibrant health and vitality. She has lost a lot of weight. She just looks amazing. She glows.

“What are you doing?” ~ I begged her to tell me her secrets. And guess what? She did.

Apart from being an talented aromatherapist who hand blends her own aromatherapy skin care range and essential oil perfumes, Jennine recently became an UltraLite detox and weight loss practitioner.  So in her loving way, she sat me down and expounded the benefits of detoxing to me.

So why do we need to detox?

Our bodies are continually loaded with toxins and detoxing helps the body to remove those toxins, helping you to lose weight, feel healthier and recover from any lingering health problems.

Some common sources of toxins include pollution, cigarette smoke, pesticides, alcohol, caffeine, and a diet lacking in nutrients. When toxins build up in the body, problems such as weight gain, poor skin, headaches, fatigue, bloating, lowered immunity and a feeling of general unwellness occur.

The good news is, there are plenty of good detox methods out there to help get rid of these toxins.

Jennine told me about a foot detox. The foot detox involves simply placing your foot into a basin of salted water that contains ion generators.  The ion generators are then supplied with very low electricity current that causes positive and negative ions to be produced which then attract oppositely charged particles in the body.  The process works by attracting charged toxic substances and then drawing them out into the water.

I’d heard of this method before and I was keen to give it a go, so I booked in for a course of detox sessions with her.

The treatment was very straightforward, my feet were immersed in a foot spa while Jennine added a special salt and monitored levels throughout the session. I just sat back and relaxed for around 30 minutes while the foot spa did its thing.

The ionised water reacts and begins to darken, showing excreted toxins and lymphatic fat. I was mesmerised as I watched the water change from crystal clear to a light gold, which deepened into a dark gold and finally a dark brown. Ewwwww!

The process is designed to stimulate circulation, allowing cells to release toxins and begin re-balancing the body. I noticed an improvement in my sense of wellbeing from the first treatment. Over the course of treatments, I began to feel more alive, and was able to ease into my detox diet.

The symptoms of many common ailments can be combated through this treatment including:

• Arthritis ~ mobility of joints can be improved
• Insomnia ~ a clearer, lighter mind helps to relax
• Circulation ~ cleansing of the body improves circulation
• Headaches ~ relieves headaches and hangovers
• Metabolism ~ enhances the body’s performance
• Skin problems ~ clears the skin and improves skin-tone
• Menstrual pain ~ reduces pain and discomfort
• Your wellbeing ~ improved energetic flow
• Liver and kidney function ~ refreshes vital organs
• Balance in the whole body ~ the body works in harmony

Now, as those of you who know me, know I have a way to go in my quest to regain my vibrant health and vitality, this was certainly a great kick-start to get me on my path.

I’m now taking myself through the Discover the Secret Messages of your Body program again ~ that’s called walking my talk people. It’s helping me maintain the right mindset I need for this journey, and its helping me to discover the triggers that trip me up.

If you need a kickstart to get you back on the road to a healthy you, I urge you to pay the gorgeous Ms. Jennine a visit, for a course of detox foot spa treatments. And while you’re there talk to her about the Ultralite program. Visit the Avalon Essences Wellness website for more details.

If you’d like some extra support, talk to me about the 28-day Discover the Secret Messages of Your Body Soul Coaching® Program.

These mists can be used as a personal auric or body mist, or as a space-clearing room mist. Beauty, power and healing in one extraordinary range is true Magnifiscense. Only $19.95.

The Dragon being a creature of myth and legend is one of the most powerful and lucky of the Chinese Zodiac signs, so this year looks like it is shaping up to be blessed with good fortune.

In ancient China, the celestial Dragon represented the emperor and moves like lightening and whirlwinds, all powerful yet totally unpredictable!

This year has the energy of fearless undertakings, self confidence, ambition, innovation, creative, flamboyant, passion, stubbornness and quick tempers, so be aware of your own place and feelings in this energy and maintain your balance.

This year’s energy will be great to help you spring board and carry through your big audacious grand plans, try to not restrict your creative thirst as it my blow out the spark that is ready to flame into life. Dragon energy likes to be free and uninhibited.

One of the drawbacks to this energy is we may be prone to burning out if we aren’t careful with this “go go go” energy. So take care of yourself during this year by keeping a balance of all aspects in your life: fun, play, work, etc.

As this year also has the component of Water it will temper down the “I want therefore I take” element of the Dragon energy, helping us to see there are other people’s feelings involved in the equation of getting what we desire, making us a little more compassionate in our thirst to conquer. The Water Dragon energy is better equipped to take a step back to re-evaluate a situation because it understands the art of patience and not hogging the spotlight.

It is also very important this year to do background research and to finish one project before you start another.

People born in the Year of the Dragon include: Gough Whitlam, Al Pacino, Bruce Lee, Casey Donovan, Emily Browning, Fats Domino, Elle Macpherson, Sigmund Freud, Gregory Peck, John Lennon, Grace Cossington Smith, Ken Done, Martin Sheen, Reese Witherspoon, Russell Crowe, Salvador Dali, Sandra Bullock, Melissa George, James Blundell, John Bell and Shirley Temple.

Dragon lucky gemstone: Opal, pearl, sapphire and amber
Dragon lucky colours: Gold and black

What Chinese Zodiac are you? and what this year may bring.

Rat (1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008)
This year the Rat’s ability to find solutions, keen sense of observation and ability to take care of themselves and others will take you far with the Dragon energy. Be careful not to over commit and take time for you to relax.

Ox (1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009)
The Ox’s solid strong persistent character may find the energy of the Dragon hard to understand as it will probably move you out of your comfort zone. Try to embrace the fear and this lively quicksilver energy to get the most out of the year.

Tiger (1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010)
The lively, brave Tiger will embrace the Dragons energy with courage. Be aware of your limitations around being too competitive and stubborn, working and living harmoniously with others will add an extra level of joy to the year.

Rabbit (1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011)
The private and nibble Rabbit may find it self thrust into the limelight this year. Will you embrace and run with the glory or run from that headlight?? I hope the earlier.

Dragon (1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012)
It’s your year, enjoy the energy that will help bring out those natural desires of yours, be careful not to over do it.

Snake (1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013)
Beneath the Snake’s graceful refined ways is a clever, crafty quick-witted and wise being that will thrive on the Dragon’s energy. It would be wise to share your wisdom and grand ideas, so that others around can support you to greatness.

Horse (1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014)
The quick-witted animated Horse is adaptable and ambitious, this year’s Dragon energy will boost the energy levels to explore and create. The challenge will be finishing the first thing before the next great idea consumes you. Beware your temper may fray more easily if you’re not getting your own way, patience is your friend.

Sheep (1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015)
The Sheep’s easy going love of peace may find the Dragon energy a challenge. Despite the desire to create a tranquil place to co-exist, this year will bring with it grandness and it will be up to you if you want to use that energy to create grander peace, or grander tranquility or run and hide from it.

Monkey (1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016)
The Monkey’s cheeky quick energy will be supported and thrust to new exciting heights during the Dragon year. Be careful not to use that fiery Dragon energy to be destructive out of boredom, channel it constructively.

Rooster (1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017)
The flamboyant, feisty and obstinate Rooster will enjoy the spotlight and Dragon’s grand energy this year. Enjoy the Dragon year to it’s fullest and remember to do loads of grand things you’ll be proud of at the end of it.

Dog (1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018)
The giving and compassionate Dog may struggle with this year’s Dragon energy as grand plans that require them to lead may find them questioning their ability to do so. So why not embrace the energy in a different way and employ the energy to think up grand plans that involve you and your loved ones, just remember to involve them.

Boar (1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019)
This will be a good year for the Boar who has a natural ability to find a diamond in the rough, that coupled with the Dragon’s energy for grand plans could have you unveiling possibilities that the average person hasn’t thought of. Be careful not to throw it ALL in the one pot and have balance and reserves elsewhere.

Notice the physical sensation of it: tight, light, tingling, churning, heavy and so on. Then simply be present to that physical senation. Hold the intention to move towards it, not away from it.

As you do this, you may notice that over time the sensation shifts or emotions may surface. If so, just keep tracking the feeling in your body and keep feeling it. You may notice your body wants to make some kind of movement. If so, allow it to move, but slow the movement right down into micro-movements so the feelings held in the movements are felt fully.

To really connect with your feelings you need to be ‘grounded’. Being grounded is about being fully in the present moment, which requires performing body exercises and using your intention to bring your energy out of your head and into your legs and feet. When you are grounded, it begins the process of opening up energetic and emotional blocks in the body to encourage the free flow of energy throughout it so it can freely flow through the heart. It’s believed that it’s only when we are grounded that we feel safe enough to really open our hearts and be fully present.

It’s fascinating how, during a grounded exercise, unresolved stuck feelings will automatically surface and we will feel deeper levels of hurt, anger and pain. When we have fully felt and expressed our pain from a very safe, present and grounded place, we can then experience the world with an open heart and a more authentic sense of self.

This process of living permanently from a more grounded state of awareness requires daily practice and takes time. When you open up blocks in your body and bring the energy out of your head and your feet and legs, your experience of reality shifts. Such shifts may include the following:

• Ongoing worries disappear and you feel more focused on the here and now. From this state you may feel less reactive to a situation that may have been triggering you.
• You may simply feel more; emotions may come up from which you previously felt disconnected. These can be negative emotions such as anger or sadness, or sometimes repressed fears, but when you allow yourself to feel them and/or safely express them, you allow your heart to open and experience more loving feelings.
• If you were previously anxious or fearful, you may feel safer and more comfortable.
• You may feel more open, wanting to move towards people and wanting to connect with them.
• Occasionally for some, a lot of repressed feelings that surface may produce anxiety. If this is the case, go very slowly, breathe gently and slowly, or stop and do a gentler grounding exercise.