Stop fear from running your life

While fear can be a great motivator, if it isn’t managed well it can bring your life to a grinding halt. It’s possible to release yourself from many of your fears and to recognise the ones that can help to push you forward so you can achieve your goals.

Fear constitutes the most intense form of human oppression. When you are afraid, you cannot be happy. Fear is the single most destructive emotion in the heart’s armoury, the single biggest roadblock that you will encounter in your search for fulfilment and happiness.

It is only when we decide to face our fears and challenge them that we begin to realise how changeable and often trifling our fears really are. Arguably, one of the most damaging results of being ruled by our fears is that of the resultant regret it often leaves behind. There are numerous ways in which fear can lead to regret in our lives; one example we can all relate to is that of a broken heart.

Most of us have, unfortunately, been there  and risking going through that agony more than once can be scary. This fear can lead us to build an emotional barricade around ourselves in an attempt to prevent it from happening again. The biggest mistake you can make is to think, “The break-up really broke my heart and I’m afraid that someone new might break it again, so next time I’m going to only go on dates with people I think might be potential life partners.

This puts far too much pressure on you and an unrealistic level of expectation on any people who may cross your path. A way to challenge this fear may be to make the idea of dating fun and lighthearted. Why not drag some friends along to a speed-dating session? It’s harmless fun that you can share with your friends to giggle about later. The best thing will be that you might discover there are many lovely people out there, people well worth taking a chance on.

Although we’d rather not suffer its unpleasant effects, fears can be an important emotion, notifying us of danger. If we couldn’t be afraid, we wouldn’t survive for long. However, when our fears become excessive, they can work as an emotional anchor, preventing us from enjoying happy and fulfilling lives.

The question we need to ask ourselves is whether we are able to control fear when it occurs, or whether our fears are at the wheel, steering the course of our lives by influencing our decisions. When left unchecked, fear can become quite a debilitating part of your life without you even realising it. In some cases it can get to the point where you may wake up one day and realise you can’t remember what it’s like to feel calm. The biggest problem with allowing yourself to be controlled by your fears is, the more you try to avoid the things that make you fearful, the seemingly larger the list of things you are afraid of will become.

The most damaging effect this kind of fear can have is that you develop a persistent need to stifle these fears and deny you have them. And so, unwittingly, you make them larger than life in your mind.

A final element of fear that cannot go unmentioned is its potential as a tool of success. this is, of course, after you have learned to harness your fears. A healthy amount of fear is essential as it provides you with a keen sense of self-awareness (ie drawing your attention to things you must do/improve/strive towards); drives you to go to work each day so you have money to pay the bills; gets you studying so you can pass the course and get your dream job; or encourages you to slog it out in the gym so you can have a healthy body.

It’s important to identify our fears and challenge them so we can diminish their impact and be free to live our lives.

  • Take some blank paper and put FEAR in the middle of the page with a box around it.
  • Start brainstorming all the things that make you fear fearful; the number of items can be as many as you like. If it is real to you, no fear is too small to be included.
  • When you have completed the page, look over all the things that make you feel fear. Begin to look for any similarities in the different items on the page. You will probably realise that certain ones have a similar theme so can be grouped together. For example a fear of wasting time can be linked to a fear of taking chances. Once you have challenged your fear of taking chances, you will no longer feel that you’re wasting time.
  • At the beginning of every week, look at the list and choose another ‘fear item’ to challenge. It’s important not to overwhelm yourself.
  • Start on smaller fears and build up from there. You will find that as you succeed in reducing or even eliminating smaller fears, you confidence will allow you to challenge bigger issues that cause you to be fearful.
About Michelle

A Soul Coach and healer, Michelle is a sought-after speaker and consultant.

She is passionate about her Soul Coaching® practice where she helps burnt-out executives who have lost themselves to rediscover their passion for their lives.

Michelle serves as a mentor for Denise Linn's current on-line professional training courses, "Gateway Dreaming," and "Soul Coaching® Oracle Card Certification" program with Hay House.

Michelle was a contributing author in the award-winning spiritual anthology, Soul Whispers II (Soul Wings Press, Sydney), which was published in October 2010.

With a rich and varied background in the healing arts, marketing, public speaking and writing, Michelle is also a Chakradance™ practitioner (a dynamic, moving meditation to balance and harmonise the chakras.

Michelle runs a successful private practice using these tools to help people "rediscover the sacredness of their lives."

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